YuZainO Vs. Queen Bee


A lot has been said bout Zain’s assault on Safaricom and how the Queen bee is going to suffer for its years of injustice meted on the hapless public (as if anyone has held a green revolver with the Safaricom logo on the barrel on their temples).


Few of those yapping bout moving to Zain will do it. They will buy a new zain simcard alright or blow the dust off an old one but they will still keep the Safaricom simcard in the smart phone to use on twitter, Facebook and email. The reason is as obvious as it is being ignored.




To Date only Safaricom has deemed it necessary to roll out 3G countrywide. What the other providers are waiting for only Zeus knows. I can tell you the feeling when the symbol at the corner of the phones screen turns from the phone mast icon to 3G or 3.5G is just like the feeling you get when a chick releases her puppies from a bra. You may have seen it countless times but the site is always welcome. It just makes you smile. It reaffirms that your handset isn’t run off the mill and is for serious people. It’s a Diesel (Raw power) guzzler and does not play around with data or the airwaves but rather grabs it by the horns and has its way with it.  I cannot buy a phone without 3G if am to use it for my Safaricom sim.  Never ever.  Its just disrespectful. Those who say it doesn’t matter to them are either lying or are those sms and calls types who have no business having a mini laptop in their pockets.


It is Obvious Michael Joseph knows this but hides this under corporate jargon like ROI and leverage on technology and all sorts of justifications but all it is the privilege and beauty of knowing your gadget can download a hi-def video in less than 5 minutes. This single technology is what is holding some of us in the Safaricom spell. And a powerful spell that is. If Airtel and their millions can rollout 3G country wide and fine tune it to actually deliver broadband speeds, then their haki yetu campaign can slowly  gain ground. Sure, cheap calls are welcome but we don’t talk that much anyway. If I was given unlimited talk time for a month, I doubt I would talk for any longer than I already do. Am mostly on twitter, email, reading or writing a blog or downloading music.


YuZainO are in this predicament of their own doing. Lemme break it down.


Orange are iDiots 3Gs. They are treating the iPhone like some elitist gadget that is not deserving of the dust on River Road. All that contracts business is not cutting it. The iPhone is the most popular handset on the planet and they are sitting on it as though we aren’t really ready for it. Sell it at cost, sweet talk developers to make apps for the local market, and stop insisting on outrageous contracts. Guys have iPhones, but they didn’t get them from you. That should be worrying. And for crying out loud why would you sell a 3G gadget without a 3G network ? o_O Totally watering down the product. Am sure even guys back at Apple Inc. Hq’s are shaking their heads.


Zain need to work on their Customer care. Safaricom is better than you. That was a diss by the way. Last time I sent you an email , I got a response 2 weeks later and it wasn’t an answer to my question it was a Merry Christmas message. Your competitors answer within the hour. Work on that and I think you will have an audience in me once more.


Yu. Where do I start? You are the most nimble, the ones best placed to upset everyone and the ones to benefit the most out of the whole circus. But you just sit on your arses and work with the one and only model everyone else is following. Their marketing goes something like this: Cheap calls , cheap sms , and a cool name! Now throw away all your other lines and come over to our new network! (followed by a plastic smile.)


Heres the thing Yu.

Not one of all your subscribers threw away any of their old lines. They just keep you in a cheap phone , buy their girlfriend a cheap phone + a yu line and get to talk for dirt cheap, but keep their serious business on the major networks.

For most of us a telephone line/network is like a wife. We may complain bitterly and call her all manner of names but we always go home in the evening because she knows just how we like our Ugali. Few of us will actually dump our lines that have been with us through thick and thin for the new kid with a funny name. 


This is a fact. Fighting it is like fighting the Sun. Now what I propose is that you hop on to the Dual-Sim phone market with all the psyche you can muster. Basically assume the role of the clande/side-dish/mistress on the phones and slowly win our hearts until some of us ultimately kick the wife out and marry yu. Adapt to consumer needs. Don’t force them to keep changing simcards (you know they will). Sell dual sim phones and save them the hustle. Just make them keep the line on. It will be used eventually rather than let it sit in my wallet till it expires or gets lost. And go fully social media and show you are the network to use to browse online. . . .from the Dual sim phones. Oh, and launch 3G like yesterday.


For Safaricom, launch 4G and I will be so there waiting to test it and push it to the limit. And tebu introduce video calling! Can’t wait to use this camera that’s front facing. I own 20 shares you know. Capish?