No man is an island

This week was both sad and relieving in a morbid kind of way. My
grandma passed the previous week and though sad I wouldn’t get to have
All-you-can-eat Ngwashe and super sweetened tea next to a roaring fire
as she harasses her daughters(my aunties) to give me food even when my
hands are full, I am relieved she is no longer in pain and at least
she will join her husband wherever people go when the die.

During the whole time while preparing for her burial, her house was
full of so many new and not so new faces. There were her age mates
recounting stories and trying to draw the family tree for the
younguns, kids running around spilling things, Family tree drawees
around my age who were there by proxy, not really caring or minding
the whole affair. They were just there. Others were there to see who
the rich relatives were and to start lamenting their sob stories
hoping for a handout or bailout by virtue of being related.

More or less everyone under that roof and under the tent on the burial
date descended from one dude back in the 1800’s. When we drew the
family tree we got tired somewhere midway coz it became too laborious
but descendants were already way past the 200 mark yours truly being
somewhere in the labyrinth of names and connections.

All the same, the community involvement leave alone the family was
phenomenal and something my mum has been trying to drum into my mind
for eternity started sinking in. As much as we are told to
differentiate and not depend on anyone else, it is not very bright to
extradite yourself from society. If they kick you out then you may be
allowed but setting yourself aside thinking that you all that and a
bag of chips will be your undoing.

That society is fickle is a given attribute but so are we.
Independence is necessary but let’s not use it as a weapon rather than
as a tool. Independence like freedom is a concept not a right. It is
to be pursued not achieved. Even when you are born you are not truly
free. You are wholly dependent on your mother for your life. In the
same sense, we are dependent on society for our existence. Separating
yourself because you don’t like a part of it is self defeating. Adapt
to it, and try change it to what you would like it to be. It’s the
only way.

  • Paul M

    Dude, Sorry about your grandmother… Sikujua until I read this… Ako mahali pema peponi… Peace…

    • mwangy

      Thanks man. . .appreciate.